I had to prepare for a debate that I had a few hours ago, and I thought what better way to start than to tell a classic joke? (I am sure there are many better ways, but hey! it was good enough for me 🙂 ), So I go searching for Why did the chicken cross the road? And I came across a really funny website that said what well-known physicists would reply if they were asked why the chicken crossed the road. I thought I would share it with you, so here we go!
Albert Einstein: The chicken did not cross the road. The road passed beneath the chicken.
Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross roads.
Carl Sagan: There are billions and billions of such chickens, crossing roads just like this one, all across the universe.
Blaise Pascal: The chicken felt pressure on this side of the road. However, when it arrived on the other side it still felt the same pressure.
Henri Poincare: Let’s try changing the initial position of the chicken just a tiny, tiny, tiny bit, and….look, it’s now across the road!
Richard Feynman, 1: It’s all quite clear from this simple little diagram of a circle with lines poking out of it.
Richard Feynman, 2: There was this good-looking rooster on the other side of the road, and he figured he’d skip all the games and just get to the point. So he asked the chicken if she’d like to come over to his side, and she said sure.
Erwin Schrodinger: The chicken doesn’t cross the road. Rather, it exists simultaneously on both sides…..just don’t peek.
Charles Coulomb: The chicken found a similar chicken on this side of the road to be repellent.
Edward Teller: I will build a more powerful chicken, and it will cross the road with more energy than any chicken before!
Galileo Galilei: The chicken crossed the road because it put one foot in front of the other and took a sufficient number of steps to traverse a distance greater than or equal to the road’s width. Note that the reason is not because the earth is the center of the universe. Oh, great… another jail term.
Peter Higgs: We must first find the chicken.
Johannes Kepler: I don’t know. But I’m glad it did, because as it waddled across, it was kind enough to sweep the area of the road with its wings. And it did so at an astonishingly consistent rate.
Pierre de Fermat: Forget about why. I’ll show you how it can get there in the least amount of time.
Niels Bohr: In attempting to answer the question by observing the chicken, I collapsed its wavefunction to the other side.
Michael Faraday: No, again? How many times do I have to tell it to stick to the safety of its cage?!
Max Planck: It appears to be a white chicken. Sorry, I deal only with black bodies.
Hugh Everett: I don’t know, but there’s another one over there that isn’t crossing the road.
Archimedes: I was running through the streets yelling and screaming, and it was only afterward that I realized I was carrying a chicken.
Edwin Hubble: Strange, it seems to move faster the farther away it gets.
Ernest Rutherford: The differential cross-section for forward chicken scattering is quite large, so the chicken will most likely cross the road if it was initially heading in that direction.
Stephen Hawking: Chicken fluctuations will inevitably create a scenario where a chicken ends up on the other side of the yellow line, in which case there is a nonzero probability that it will escape to the other side.
Lord Kelvin: I don’t know. But I think the road actually starts back there a bit.
That’s it for today then guys! Please do ask if you don’t get any, and no offence is intended. Credits go to the website stated above. See you! 🙂